October 2007 We lay in Cassie’s room, blowing cigarette smoke out of her cracked window. The walls are painted green and pink, like the tube of Great Lash she always carries in her bag and uses to touch up her translucent eyelashes. We had become closer recently after she laughed at my joke one day …
August 3rd, 2011 I sit on a bench in Arlington Park. The air is thick and warm, but a breeze allows us to breathe a little easier this summer evening. I watch people and children walk and play as I eat a cup of frozen yogurt. Tonight, I don’t have the energy to care about …
The surgery process is, more often than not, exactly the same. You walk into the building enveloped in the odor of anti-septic soap. You wait an extra seven minutes at the check-in desk because some lady who is having a steroid shot under twilight is freaking out and dumping all of her trauma and fears …
I am sitting on the steps of our community pool. The water is sky blue and sunlight honeycombs ripple rhythmically from the surface to the bottom. Other people and children swim around us. My mother or grandmother are definitely lurking nearby. I mind my business and play with my toys in the water. My favorites …
It’s St. Patrick’s Day, 1999.In the middle of a mild afternoon, my first little sister is born. I am six-and-a-half years old, walking into the hospital with some family members. I’d thankfully never spent much time in that environment, which ironically would change only a few years later. Entering the cold, bare room, Mother is …
“When did I first show interest in horses?” I ask Mother recently, wondering what sparked my interest in this specific animal. “I’m not exactly sure…” She thinks for a moment. “What I remember most is the toys. When we would go to a store and look at the toys, you never went right towards the …
Since anorexia is back on the market (literally… mail order Ozempic?) and the red carpet (yes, I will body shame evident encouragement of emaciation)… Let me give you some perspective from a lifelong anorexic. ***DISCLAIMER***I am going to limit the scope of this discussion specifically to disordered eating, not weight loss for necessary health or …
18 houses in 33 years. Math is my worst subject but that averages to a new home about every two years since I was born. One of the only things I have ever wanted was stability. I envied people who lived in the same house their whole life, who had the same friends since preschool, …
One of the first questions many people ask upon meeting me is: “what are you?” I tend to sideline my smartass remarks about the dehumanization of that statement—I know most inquirers mean well. What they mean to say is: “what’s your nationality?” or “what’s your heritage?” I don’t really like to think or talk about …
You wake up one morning earlier than the sun. You’re not sure how, but you know today is the day. Today is the day for change. You’re on your fifth instar and there’s only one more layer of skin to shed. It’s the most brutal one, but it’s the only way to get to the …
